chicka YEAH!

what you said to me today may not have seemed like anything, but that just set me off. i’m NOT overreacting because you don’t know what i’ve been through so far. i don’t understand why you have to add to my problems. i’m just relaying messages and then you have to go and ruin my senior year already. IT DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING HAPPEN YET AND YOU’RE ALREADY RUINING IT! you don’t understand what i’ve been through on this team and you will never understand. i get pushed around everyday by everyone and i take it. i hold in all my anger and just look depressed all the time. but i can’t hold it in anymore. i don’t care who reads this because i need to rant about how I FEEL. i’m not your fucking bitch and i’m not gonna take your attitude or anyone else’s anymore. i’m fed up. i don’t care if you guys hate me, but next year will be my fourth year on this team. LONGER THAN ANY OF YOU! so please just let me enjoy that and you won’t ever have to deal with me again. i don’t care if you don’t talk to me ever again. i’m just so upset right now and still am. i cried so much tonight and i can’t deal with life anymore. maybe i won’t even make it to senior year because believe me i’ve considered suicide once or twice. but i know i’m better than that. so please please please just deal with me for another year or two and i promise to leave you alone. please, i’m begging you.